The Cheating Scale: Ain't Nobody Got Time For That

So I was reading a site that talked about this "cheating scale."  Psssssshhh... What in the world is a cheating scale?  Basically, the site is a designated "safe space" for women to talk to a man about their relationship issues, but I ask you again... what is a "cheating scale?"  According to the blog I read, it is the degree to which cheating is acceptable or tolerable I would say. 

That makes me ask... is some cheating better than other cheating?  I'm so confused.

You see in my book, faithful is faithful and infidelity is infidelity.  I cannot outline the perimeters of another relationship, but what I will say is when you set those boundaries... THAT'S IT!  Ain't no cheating scale (please excuse my ebonics)!  Sheesh, people come up with the most ridiculous crap which serves only them when it is convenient for them.  Don't you despise that? 

All I have to say to that is know what you are getting into when you date, propose, engage, or marry someone.  Again, I cannot say what is appropriate, acceptable, or tolerable
in your relationship, because while I may not care if my man watches porn, for example, you just might.  However, once you agree to those terms of the relationship (you, meaning both of you), don't let this fool slide by saying, "well, I only let her please me, I didn't touch her."

Ain't nobody got time for that!

Read more »

52 Thank Yous: Dear Mama

Dear Mama:

Despite the fact that I sometimes hide my emotions,  mommy you are life itself.  For that, I thank you. 

Thank you for all that you have done for me.  Without you, there would be no me.  Thinking back over the last 20 something years, I can recall countless times that you have given great support regarding the things I have striven to do.  There have been quite a bit of changes in my life from relocating between Virginia, New York, Georgia and DC, and random (but genius, lol) ideas I come up with, or my ever changing professions; but through it all, I don't recall you judging or attempting to "slap some sense in me."  After all, you knew I was going to follow my heart because you know your child.  You supported me in the best way you knew how, by encouraging me.  Not everyone can say that about their parents.

So now I am moving into the phase of my life where I am truly coming into my own.  I now understand the responsibilities of a "grown ass woman," again, thanks to my mother.  You have equipped me with the tools needed to make it in this big ol' world and my goodness, I use them everyday.  Thanks for raising a smart young lady (if I might say so myself).  I could go on and on, but what's the point, we already know how this will end... "there's no way I can pay you back, but my plan is to show you that I understand.  You are appreciated!"

Thank You Mommy!

Love Always,
AskHeatherG

Read more »

52 Thank Yous: Dear Readers

Dear Readers, 

I want to start off by sending my first Thank You to you because without you I would have no way of expressing my thoughts so openly.  Thanks to you, my readers, I not only get to share my thoughts and feelings, I also get to be creative, vivid and outright honest without judgment... and for that, I thank you!

I once read about a man who sent 365 Thank Yous to the most significant people who crossed his path.  Although some of the recipients of the Thank You letters seemed to have no part in this man's life, in some small way they did, which in turn helped him grow in even the smallest way.  For that he felt grateful.  I have learned when someone plays an important role in your being, you should return the favor with even the slightest token.  He chose letters... and so do I.  While 365 letters are a bit aggressive for me, I do feel a sense of urgency to verbalize my sheer and utter gratitude for the richness people have and will bring into my life.  I hope that these words will mean as much to you as they do to me and if I can help even one person feel appreciated, that's enough.

With that, I leave you this... never underestimate the power of a heart felt letter.  While I thank you for reading what I have to say, I urge you to take a little time to jot down a couple lines to the people that mean everything to you.  Remember, "words last forever!"


Sincerely,
AskHeatherG

Read more »

What's Your Life Purpose

Hey you... yes you! Do you know your life purpose? Do you know the reason you were created and the gifts and talents you are supposed to give to the world?

If you are like me, the answer is no, or not exactly.  There are so many things I am good at, yet, after a certain amount of time dedicated to them, I find myself bored of it and ready to move to the next exciting adventure.  For so long I thought that this was a horrible way to be.  I would wish and pray that the answer to my life's purpose would come to me so that I could find that one thing to focus on.  That way, I'd be "normal," you know... just like everyone else.  Well, over the course of a couple weeks now, I am realizing that I am not at all normal by western standards anyway, and that trying to put myself in a box will only slowly stifle my creativity.  So now I am at the point where I have to find and hone a profession or hobby that will allow me to fully express the very essence of me.  I am wondering if there is such a way to funnel all of your dreams, thoughts and creativity through one focus.

I know I am not alone in this journey as I see all the Facebook and Instagram quotes on a daily basis talking about "dreaded Mondays" and the people, like me, that are merely living in glorified misery for the sake of being "responsible."  I advocate being a person to stand up and handle your business, but I do not advocate living hopelessly only to go home, watch reality tv and tell everyone how if you had a reality tv show it would be so good because your life is so "cray." One way or the other, if you are not happy, find your passion or purpose instead of watching others live theirs.  We have to stop watching other people's lives through gossip sites, instagram, and NOT so reality tv.

I must admit, I am still uncovering the ways to do that (because right now I have little idea), but everyday I am getting closer.  If I can help anyone of you find your way, I intend to do so... continue to check back over the weeks as I explain some techniques that are helping me unveil the things life has in store for me.  Hopefully my story will help you write yours.

Read more »

Detox-ic (Essence of Vitality)

From time to time, we could all use a simple detox.  A detox is designed to help rid the body of toxins and pollutants.  I am a huge believer of cleansing... inside and out; for it not only clears physical space, it un-fogs mental space as well.  For the last 14 days I have been cleansing internally and I feel energized, vibrant and more awake... not to mention my skin glows (added bonus for us ladies). 

The detox I am currently using is called Essence of Vitality.  Although there are many ways to detox including herbal tonics, juice fasting or changing your diet for a set period of time, I decided to try the Essence of Vitality.  I came across EOV after reading a post on Facebook which led me to Chef  Ahki's  page and ultimately to her website which entailed the benefits of the EOV detox. I wanted to give it a 'go' since I have had such success with other methods of detoxing in the past and I am glad I did.  I am so happy with my results so far!  The EOV has completely curbed my desire to indulge in unhealthy eating habits.  Before I started, I would drink coffee daily.  I literally stopped by Wawa's every morning to grab a cup of Joe, and head to the office.  If nothing else, I was going to get my steaming hot 16oz. cup of coffee, which I know some of you can relate to because coffee is addictive... right?! I have also noticed a more flat tummy, drastic boost in energy, glowing skin and focused mind.  I must say that although the tonic (Essence of Vitality) tastes bizarre, the benefits far outweighs the unforgettable taste. 

Aside from the perks of this particular detox, in general, cleansing your system will help you feel more refreshed and surprisingly help you to make more healthful dietary choices in your day to day life.  Think of detoxing as a cycle.  Once you clear the fog and fuel your tank with premium octane, you are now set to drive the distance, get stuff done and be overall more focused.  Your visions become clear and how to obtain them seems obvious.  I know some of you can hardly believe a little detox can do all of that, but it can.  The things that go into our body are vitally important to our well being.  Most of us do not consider the lotions we put on or the perfumes we spray onto our skin, or the pre-packaged foods that have sat on the shelf for 7 months, but we still eat and ingest.  These things are not the best choices we can make, so how can we help ourselves "do better."  Detox. 

Read more »